Peace...Of Christ be with you..and everyone with burdens...

I want to know why it is, that when life seems the most overwhelming and the most frustrating and we feel like there is one one to talk to we forget to pray?


Life has it's way of overwhelming me  and I am always forgetting to pray or if I do pray I find that it is one of those fleeting "help me"  kind  of prayers. It is so hard to for me to focus and really concentrate on prayer.. and yet I am always begging people to pray for me or someone else I know who needs help.

Why do I get so surprised and and almost shocked when out of  no where some thought or worry that has been heavy on my mind is suddenly resolved with an amazing perfectness? People are praying for me and God hears them. And I think he must know the deepest part of my longings and desires before he answers my prayers because they are always answered so perfectly.

I have been taking over my mother's financial and medical affairs. This is not an easy task. She has dementia. Not terrible yet but still terrible for me. She doesn't remember I am her child. It is like being an orphan before your parent is gone. I am having to figure out all of her Medicare and I am searching tor ways to help stimulate her brain to stay here just a little longer. I am sad and yet I am fierce too. this woman who raised two kids for a while in the 50's...doing all the right things for us to the best of her ability.. I want her to have everything she deserves. I want her to be happy.

God has given me angels who watch over her and me and who pray for us. Pastor James, Patsy, Ian and Kate they all pray. I see things happening in positive directions and I am encouraged!

Emmanuel.. "God with us" it is here ...Now...

Peace in Getting Ready for the School Year

It's funny, I LOVE the fall and the getting ready for school part of my life. fall has always excited me!(is it the "Ancient Ones" coming up inside my phyche that had all the Harvest festivals and Dances to the Gods  for the harvest...? Who Knows?) I always have a fond sense anticipation about fall and the start of a new school year and how to do things better and more efficiently. I always feel like September is the new beginning,  not January. Kinda  crazy but just me.

 I am working in the library trying to get ready for my students and my teachers. Passing out equipment and  help.
 I feel more confident as the libraian this year. I want to share some of my ideas with the teachers.
I am at peace with myself in this realm.

Pax!

Peace on a Late August Sunday

It is a pleasent day not HOT by ant means but pleasent. I am trying to put together a little bit of help and fun for my son and his wife, and I am also thinking about how much I love to putter around at home occasionally. I think Alan is sort of depressed and is sleeping at the moment. He wanted to go out and hike or ?? but I was not enthused at all and I think it was just so we could both spend a little down time.
There is a  peacefulnesss to the quiet of the office and the sounds of the red squirrels out the window and the birds I can hear.
I am sort of in slow motion myself and just want to feel the lazy rhythm of the Sunday wash over me.
 In relationship with nature and with God, listening to the tune of his creation and relaxing in its melody.

Peace in the Midst of your Family

So it is August. I have had classes all summer. I am winding down and I have two more books to read for my wrap up. I am finally on vacation and I have had to time to read the blogs of my wonderful daughter -in-law Katelyn. She is an amazing writer! I am sitting in the midst of the family reunion. It's noisey and yet gets really quiet at times. Everyone is tired. Health issues for the grandparents, kid issues for the mid-lifers, and work stress issues for the young adults. We are here and comfortable with our siblings and parents and love to be WITH each other. Building community within a family.  I am blessed by my family. I hope that any time we can build relationships we will. God has plans for the world it has to do with the  caring for and taking care of each other. It also has to do with the intent in which we do the taking care. Not out of duty but out of the Love for each other and for God.

Ideas about Hospitality..

Since last blog I was thinking about Hospitality and the whole idea of it, I came across this thought from Matt Mahre on his blog site:


Noted author Henri Nouwen once said, "the greatest sign of a Christian was their sense of hospitality" Well, of course it would be extremely inhospitable to "force" an agenda on someone, without their willing permission. This is the "grave" sin that God speaks of - when one knowingly and willingly compromises the sanctity and dignity of another human person for personal gain (of any kind). The opposite of love isn't hate, as Pope John Paul 2 spoke in the Theology of the Body, it's use. To use someone for personal gain (whether it be emotional, psychological or physical) is a terrible sin against God
 (From Matt Mahre's blog)



It was what I was trying to say...Someone else always seems to get it "righter" than me!

Peace after the storm?

So it has been forever since I have sat down and thought,about something other than school work or playing on the Internet for my library website, or figuring out new web2.0 apps for my classes. I have met some wonderful people and have learned a BUNCH about Libraries and Librarian work. I am still feeling overwhelmed however!
I spent an amazing week in Guatemala and jumped in with both feet to classes after having had some time to gain some perspective.
Peaceful perspective. Go to a country where there is no electricity where you are staying and the people you are with are loving people with no advantages whatsoever except their family ties, and this makes for some quiet contemplation. I was very happy here. we worked literally from sun up to sundown on building stoves for the village of   Nuevo Santiago Esperenza Maya.
The village is not much but it does have PEOPLE in it. They laugh and cry and  are gregarious or shy happy sad, healthy and ill just like all of us. They welcomed us and showed us such gracious hospitality..Could we do the same for strangers from a far away country, who do not speak our language? Would we welcome them into our homes with open arms as they tried to improve our quality of life?.. God puts it on the hearts of people to go on short term 3rd world missions  (I think) in hopes of showing them the ways he wants us to respond to his call to be a community of believers. When you go far away and see the community the people have with each other  it is very humbling. We who have beeen blessed with much, need to be able to know we can share and need to share what we have: talents, time, money,whatever it is to better the world in God's name and for His glory.I think that, thinking about Life  as your mission field would be a start.. So think about that.
 Here is a related passage from The Message: Judges 19:15-21

15-17 The Levite went and sat down in the town square, but no one invited them in to spend the night. Then, late in the evening, an old man came in from his day's work in the fields. He was from the hill country of Ephraim and lived temporarily in Gibeah where all the local citizens were Benjaminites. When the old man looked up and saw the traveler in the town square, he said, "Where are you going? And where are you from?"


18-19 The Levite said, "We're just passing through. We're coming from Bethlehem on our way to a remote spot in the hills of Ephraim. I come from there. I've just made a trip to Bethlehem in Judah and I'm on my way back home, but no one has invited us in for the night. We wouldn't be any trouble: We have food and straw for the donkeys, and bread and wine for the woman, the young man, and me—we don't need anything."

20-21 The old man said, "It's going to be all right; I'll take care of you. You aren't going to spend the night in the town square." He took them home and fed the donkeys. They washed up and sat down to a good meal.

So strangers can provide for each other and we should all be hospitable to everyone we encounter. We should also learn how to accept graciously the hospitality that is shown to us in different situations. Just some thoughts on peaceful times spent as a stranger in another land.

Peace in the vending room

This is being written at the Motel6 in Ontario Oregon. I am at a dog trial with Alan and Hunter. It is about 70 degrees outside and it is about 85 degrees in this room where they actually have an internet connection. It is pretty peaceful but I am very hot and very tired. We drove here last night so Hunter could do his first run today he is doing fine so far,
I wanted to be able to work on my Final for my Technology class but it is too hot in here so I am blogging instead. I do seem to have some AADD in me. Pehaps this is why library life agrees with me?

Matt Maher - Hold us together with lyrics

I am so digitally challenged I am having trouble posting this link to the song..
Oh well I'll learn! OOOH! It just comes out right!!! YEA!!!

The busy day.".Love will keep us together"...

So here I am trying to do homework but wanting to download my too busy life.I know it is only temporary, I am missing Ian and Kate! I think about them and this song has constantly reminded me of them back in New York.

I have to repond to the article tonight for my technology class. Ah me.. Sprit radio is my buddy tonight. God you are close..and you are there I can feel your presence. Thanks for upholding me.. for keeping me safe.

Peace?? Who thought that name up for this Blog??

So It has been a long time since last I wrote anything because I came back from my spring break and had am important phone call. It was from the woman who is in charge of the Library Media Endorsement at Antioch University. "I know you weren't going to do this until next year but"... She offered me a scholarship for 50% off the tuition until December. This sounds good to me. But the committment??? Every Wednesday evening and Saturday morning until June 24th. Then every Mon., Tues., Wed., Thurs. in the summer!!! WOW ! Alan is not happy. He tries to sabotage my time..he really didn't want me to do this; but I feel like God did want me to. I am dedicated to my kids at Southgate and I feel that I have the qualities of leadership that can help make the library at this school work and the management of technology at the school what it should be for the 21st century scool.(given the few resources we have to work with) I do not think there has been a good libriran there for a while. So with all that said, I have not had a moment to get the whole thing under my belt. I have jumped into a cold pool and started swimming to keep warm. It is good for me and I know it!! But I have to tread water and dog paddle and float on my back to be able to make it! God is watching over this whole thing.There have been so many little things I see that I know He/She is in this with me. Things like profs that are not hung up about deadlines but are more "get it finished and turn it in" I like that. It is less stress for me. I do see other things that are truly bugging me at work though. My WONDERFUL para educators came down to help me on Wednesday when I wasn't there..and they deleated my inventory on Wednesday..WOW!!! okay... so we start again with Directions!!! SIGH! Anyway I need to get busy at the homework..I have had to try to get my technology skills in order pronto and I am just barely breathing above the surface of the water. I am a Digital Immmigrant and I have a long way to go!
Peace...? maybe later.

The peacefulness that brings the storms

Well it is the weekend after a fast and furious week at school. The Bookfair stuff arrived 3days early(where do I put all this stuff?) but I handled it. The case worker for the state could meet with me April 8th or not untol May 12th!!! (okay, so I need a sub for Thursday, Please) and then Wednesday night the lady from the Library endorsment program comes along and called me saying that she has the perfect scholarship for me for 50% off the price of my classes to get the endorsement. (WooHoo! Lets come up with umpty-thousand dollars for mom for school too!)
So all the excitment aside I feel an alive presence of God urging me on to become better. I met with the case worker and he turned out to be LOVELY! He is very concerned with the welfare of ELders. He's my age and lives nearby in Oakbrook and has even been to the restaurant a couple of times and he likes it a lot("Good Atmosphere, Great food" he says)So he helped me finshish figurinfg out what to do do to get some respite care at night when Sheila is at work. It was long but a good meeting.
That same day I went to find out about this Library endorsement program. It was over at Jason Lee very close to mom's house.
I met our wonderful advisor Christie Kaaland who really advocated and encouraaged me to "go for It". So I decided to go ahead and jump in and get this done. Maybe I'll have some more insight into libraries than just the check in check out and buy new books? Undoubtedly so...
Of course when I got home Alan is all about the money(I do know that it is sort of tight right now) Are you sure you want to do this when you are only going to work two more years? Well, I was thinking more like 5 more years.. and no I'll probably never make back that money in 5 years..but I need to do this I want to do this. I want to be good at my job and I also want to be a step ahead of the legislation for all Libraries to have certificated and endorsed librarians in the schools. Alan gets kind of crabby about what I want to do if it doesn't coinside with what he wants to do. So I want to do this.. but now I wonder what in the world I have gotten myself into..The month of July looks like it's filled in with classes Monday thru Thursday. But I am not going to say anything yet. Silence in this case is better for harmony than talking about it.
So After a week of Peace here I am in the thick of life but I can't help but wonder what kind of renewal I have had, praying and thinking about my life and how God moves in it. I believe that he has a hand in all that happens and when it happens so I am pretty ready for new adventure I'm about to start. I am alive in Him and He is alive in me.

The quietude of Peace

It is Easter Sunday 2010. I have been to sing praise at my church! I have been with my church family and my daughter and her husband as they experienced being at church with our new pastor, and the new people that God has called to be here at LCOP. My oldest son has moved out to somewhere..was gone when we got home from Canada. My middle son and his wife are on the east coast in New York. Those two have afound a new church family and I hope someone invited them to be with them for this amazing day. My youngest son was going to come to church but slept through, he swears he was going to come. Whatever.. anyway Alan I are out in his office he is closing out the month of March for Paktek and for Carrs, and I am reflecting on the peacefulness of my home at the moment. There is only Isaiah and Alan and I here.. it is quiet. Kind of different. But peaceful. I am ready to go visit at my mother's for a little while. My cousin lives with her and tries to care for her but I feel that it is not to be for long. I am going over to find all the book keeping for the taxes and to get Sheila to sign some papers fo the COPES program for mom also. This is one of those things I need God's help with and I know He is there but it is still hard knowing that your parent is slipping away and will not know who you are some day. But I am a woman of action..I will forge ahead and do what needs doing and grieve later. It is stormy and raining again..I need to go visit my mom. Peace..it has so many connotations.

Peace in far away places

So I am sitting in Tofino, B.C. the sky is black and hailing one minue and then it is sunny for the next minute. I have been reading a book called "A New Christianity for a New World" by John Shelby Spong. He is an Episcopal Bishop with a highly radical vision that I believe is really coming to pass.
He believes that we are stuck in inmaturity in God and Christ and must find the courage to move to the next level of our belife. It is HEAVY stuff to ponder, but it is also things that I have pondered long and hard about myself...Things that I have experiences and have lived in my life also lead me to believe that what he says has a ring of truth.
I am still only midway through this book as I am only midway through my life on this planet. I hope that someone else I know will be able to relate to what I get out this book and that God will give me clairity and wisdom to start lving in Him, as a more Christ-like person.
God is the essence of everything that has life! Praise Himfor his mighty Works!!

The new and differerent Life

So, in Jeremiah it says "I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord". I have to just keep believing this because I seem to be having trouble figuring it out. I am thinking it is because I have SO much going on that I have a problem listening to God. I sometimes have a problem listening to other people. I only hear what they are saying, but not understanding whay they are trying to convey. If I were to quiet down the insides of me, as well as the outside things that are so crazy and too busy, I could hear Him speak. I seem to keep trying to find a peaceful time, some peaceful space or some peaceful music.... How do get from here to there? I am still seeking this daily. I want a peaceful vacation next week how do I do that when I feel like I am "supposed" to be taking care of other things? It is the the search for wisdom and for peace.